RejectReality

Customer Service is a funny thing. It only takes one customer service representative to falter when presented with a question that is slightly out of the ordinary to ruin the illusion.

The CPU fan in my laptop has been unhappy for a long time. The Toshie is hitting close to two years old, and there’s been a slight grind in the fan for around half of that. Fortunately, this laptop seems to be fairly user serviceable - memory, wireless card, modem, CPU fan, heatsink and processor can be easily swapped out - so I figured it was finally time to do do something about it.

Well, that and I’m stupid enough to do these things myself

Starting with the obvious, I tried Toshiba’s support line - these are the guys to call when you have any problems with your kit. Being out of warranty, I was not expecting much assistance, but some information would have gone down well.

I posed a seemingly simple question to find out how can I buy spare parts for laptops (only to be quizzed on my serial number, which was rather amusing - can you not get a phone number of a spares group out of a support line these days without coughing up a serial?). The response of which greeted me with the support guy (audibly) furrowing his brow and asking the question, “You want to buy a fan?”, followed incredulously by, “You want to buy it outright?”

I will admit - I honestly considered my options. I was rather concerned that I might be making a fiscal nightmare for myself by not consulting a financial adviser and several independent accountants to discuss the pros and cons of leasing, hire purchase, second mortgages, margin lending or business loans when considering the purchase of a CPU fan. I mean, the interest alone on an anticipated 50-buck fan could easily destroy the delicately balanced price of eggs in China.

Throwing caution to the wind, I answered in the affirmative.

Twice.

Scandalous, I know.

The result? “Ah. We don’t sell parts. Dunno where you can get ‘em”.

<sigh>

Round two - the sales guys. Considering their number was advertised for new equipment only (and not spares), I was expecting a similar outcome - I was pleasantly surprised. I did receive a similar response (”Ah. We don’t sell parts…..”), which was actually followed by something useful - “Actually, you might be able to buy them from <completely separate third party company that is not mentioned anywhere as a Toshiba affiliate>”.

With a rush of enthusiasm, I pushed on and contacted <completely separate third party company that is not mentioned anywhere as a Toshiba affiliate>

A really nice girl answered the phone, and was actually able to do something to help my poor fan situation.

Nice girl on phone: “Sure. We’ve got the part you need. $10.47 each.”

Me (mentally): “I was expecting to pay $50. Score! I’m 40 bucks ahead!”

Me (verbally): “One please.”

NGOP: “No problems - I’ll just grab your details. By the way, we’ve got a minimum order of $20″.

Me (mentally): “Crap!”

Me (verbally): “Seriously? I don’t need any other parts. Can you do anything about it?”

NGOP: “Well, I can give you one fan for $20, or two fans for $20.94″.

Me (mentally): “Bollocks! Oh well, I’m still $30 up”.

Me (verbally): “Hrm. Two please.”

NGOP: “Plus tax.”

Me (mentally): “You’ve got to be kidding me”

Me (verbally): “OK - not too much I can do about that. Any more surprises?”

NGOP: “Nope. Oh, hang on a sec. You’re not in Melbourne, are you?

Me (mentally): “Here we go….”

Me (verbally): “No - why?”

NGOP: “Plus freight. I could have saved you that if you were in Melbourne”

Me (mentally): “This is nuts! It’s only a fan - just bubble wrap the bloody thing and stick it in a PostPak”

Me (verbally): “<sigh> Just do what you have to do”

Long story short: I now have my $10 fan installed, my laptop is now happy, my wallet is 35 bucks lighter, I have a spare fan that will probably be completely useless to me as this lappie will be retired long before I need to swap it in and I’ve learnt that the support guys don’t seem to like oddball queries.

You’d think it would be easier, eh?